Back Monday

Off to Hawkes Bay.

May see you on the road...

Is It Time For Holden to Man-up?

Have you noticed the way cars are being advertised at the moment? Am I the only one cringing when an ex-children's television presenter and softly-spoken, metro-sexual pin-up boy, Nathan Rarere fronts those condescending Holden promo adverts on television?

Our free advice to Holden is to stop feminising your brand, go back to your roots and man-up or you will be soon following the doomed pathway of your American cousins. Political correctness infected GM that resulted in this once proud car company losing its way and going bankrupt. GM are now wallowing in the embarrassment of being run by government advisers. 

Out of blatant self-interest, we need the public to get passionate about cars again. We need them to fall in love, get behind the wheel and enjoy the journey. The car is the ultimate prize of consumerism, we need to rid ourselves of the senseless guilt and celebrate the benefits of living in a modern, mobile society while burning carbon. Cars are a magical combination of ego, beauty, sex form and function.

AND as an added bonus, cars happen to carry 99.9% of guests to my doorstep where I can sell them a room!

Car companies are engaging in endless surveys and focus groups to back up the bland virtues that they are pushing in their adverts. They assume the car purchasing public are focused on fuel economy, safety and the car manufacturer's social commitment. 

Nothing could be further from the truth. 

OK, I admit there may be a few gray shoe and cardigan wearing school teacher types that simply wish to purchase an efficient metal box on wheels that will take them from A to B. Thankfully we haven't reached the stage yet, where the majority have lost the passion. 

What the surveys don't tell car manufacturers is that most people purchase a car as a sex aid. What they REALLY want to know is: how big is the car's engine, how fast will it go, will it slide around corners, how wide are the tyres and will it out-perform the neighbor's car. And most importantly, will purchasing a certain car increase their sex appeal?

Check-out these Holden adverts from yesteryear:





Now compare those adverts with the politically correct fluff we get today:


I want my Holden back!

Motel Flat Screen TV Theft

Flat screen TVs are a must have item in motels and hotels these days that are appreciated by guests. 

Unfortunately, flat screen TVs are also popular with the criminal fraternity that commonly use motels and hotels to satisfy their desire to acquire one of these consumer items.

Thankfully, surveillance cameras are also becoming a must have item in commercial accommodation. The following video shows a man stealing a TV from a motel in Oklahoma City.

Sorta reminds me of the last time I stayed at a motel in Palmerston North;-)

Hotel Horror

Away from their usual comforts and surrounds of home, travellers seem to be more at risk of experiencing unsavory experiences. In this brave new digital world, motel and hotel guests are more than happy to broadcast their horror stories to a willing audience that allow themselves to be drawn-in to be shocked and titivated.

Regular road warriors will have at least one travel horror story that they can drag out at an appropriate moment to gain themselves kudos around the water cooler.

For our entertainment, TripAdvisor have collated some classic travel yarns that have occurred at commercial accommodations throughout the world:

Calella, Spain H Top Olympic Hotel

Woken up by the sound of breaking glass... someone fell through the window of the patio doors. More

Las Vegas, USA Circus Circus Manor Motor Lodge

Drunk people sleep right outside our room lying in the hallway. More

Broadbeach, Australia Island Beach Resort

Our belongings were stolen from our ROOM while we were in the swimming pool. More

Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt Tropicana New Tiran Hotel

Flooded by sewage overflow twice in the 5 days that we were there. More

Miami, USA Majestic Hotel South Beach

He shoved the couch into my luggage, broke a bottle of alcohol in my bag and ruined my camera. More

Beijing, China Guomen Hotel

We spent our entire vacation in quarantine - never having a fever or symptoms. More

Albufeira, Portugal Valmangude Jardim Aparthotel

The robber had a key to all the rooms and they somehow knew how to get into the safe! More

Petra, Jordan Petra Palace Hotel

A male cleaner knocking on my door at 6.30am to say hello and ask if he could wash his face in my sink. More

Athens, Greece Hotel Fivos

Liked — Leaving Disliked — The period between check in and departure. More

Bangkok, Thailand D&D Inn

The POLICE demanded a substantial fine...withdrawn from a conveniently placed ATM... More

Motel Industry Branding Campaign

So much to do, so little time... however I've managed to spend some time kicking a few ideas around for a national branding campaign to promote the motel industry.

Here's what I've come up with so far:

OTA Commission Face-off

Just when you thought the Online Travel Agent (OTA) market couldn't get any more crowded, accommodation providers are being invited to register for a new booking site, Stay in New Zealand. 

This new Kiwi-owned accommodation booking site is being fronted by innovative Taupo motelier, Kayne Ginger.

"Our objective is to get your property out into the online public domain to sell your product and to get you bookings without charging high commissions. There are no setup costs - it is completely free to sign up. There are no hidden agendas or tricks - we are simply a small kiwi business trying to help other like minded kiwi businesses succeed." 

So what is the main point of difference with Stay in New Zealand?

Kayne Ginger will appeal to fellow accommodation providers by having a genuine commitment to challenge the entrenched 10% commission rate. Stay in New Zealand plan to stir the market place with their entry 9% commission rate and undertake to reduce this further as their business progresses.

When a guest makes a reservation through the site, a non refundable 9% of the total accommodation is charged to their credit card by Stay in New Zealand to cover commission and to secure a booking. It is up to the accommodation provider to charge the guest the net balance owing at the time of the stay.

Under Stay in New Zealand's initial 9% commission regime, the advantage of a lower agent commission will unfortunately be negated by likely credit card commissions charged to the accommodation provider from processing guests' payments.

However, the accommodation provider will benefit from receiving payments at the time of stay AND can look forward to promised future commission reductions.

Having a motelier fronting the new OTA is another interesting point of difference. We look forward to following their progresses to see if they are able to gain traction in a very tough market and put a bit of pressure on commission rates charged by their competitors.

The site will be live on the 3 May 2010. Accommodation providers can register by clicking: HERE

The Love Motel's Final Blow?

We have been watching with voyeuristic amusement, the unfolding story of New Zealand's first proposed "Love Motel" that appropriately plans to call itself, the Desire Motel.

Earlier this year, the North Shore City Council approved a resource consent for an 11-unit self described "Brazilian Motel' in a bleak Glenfield light-industrial culdesac. 

Conditions of the consent were subject to the motel providing 14 car parks. The Motel was able to provide for 10 car parking spaces on site and arranged a lease agreement with a neighbouring business for six more car parks after 6pm on weeknights.

A brothel licence was separately applied for by the motel's backers "to prevent confusion about the proposed motel's purpose."

After the nature of the Desire Motel was speculated in the media, the neighbouring business owners cried foul and withdrew arrangements for car parking. Along with local residents, the local business owners successfully opposed the motel's waiver application to operate as a brothel within 250 metres of a residential area.

So where does this leave the motel?

Well, without adequate car parking, the motel can only operate with a maximum of 7 guest rooms on weekdays, however all 11 guest rooms can be used on weekends due to the low parking demand in this industrial area during this time.

The motel's backers have consistently downplayed the motel's prostitution angle throughout their trial by media. They have insisted that the motel's core business would cater for couples who required a private rendezvous to bond and spend time together in 11-themed guest rooms that are let by the hour - Just like the successful Love Hotels in South America and Asia.

If this is their true market target, we wonder how successful a Kiwi "Love Motel" would be? We know that motels can be used for the odd tryst by amorous couples. Our motelier-friends at airport motels tell of a local market that are attracted to their "hourly rates" designed for international travellers to refresh before and after long-haul travel.

Will the couples market really sustain a destination motel located in a light-industrial zoned Glenfield culdesac? Or will the business need a substantial contribution from another market demographic? We note with interest that without a brothel licence the motel can still have prostitutes on-site that are working for themselves.

It remains to be seen if the Desire Motel will still be considered viable?

Qualmark Speculation

We see that excepts from our post, Qualmark CEO Resigns have been quoted in the latest Travel Memo.

It is interesting that Travel Memo have noted that either Tourism New Zealand or the AA have yet to make a statement on the Qualmark CEO's sudden departure:

Qualmark CEO moves on

Qualmark ceo Geoff Penrose has gone from New Zealand tourism’s official quality assessment agency, apparently without any statement from either of its joint venture partners, Tourism New Zealand or the AA.
 
During his five years in the role, Penrose and his team grew the total numbers of Qualmark-licenced tourism businesses to 2,300, and 470-plus have been awarded Enviro gold, silver or green status under the Qualmark Green program.
 
Motel industry blogsite Motella, in a comment on his departure, says Penrose “will probably be most  remembered for being at the helm when Qualmark inserted a fashionable and politically correct environmental criteria into their quality assessment under the maternal eye of the previous government.”
 
“Qualmark have been accused of abandoning its original brief of delivering an efficient quality benchmarking service to tourism businesses by being sidetracked with environmental evangelism.”
 
Motella wonders whether government-driven budget cuts are imminent for Qualmark and that without continued taxpayer subsidy of its benchmarking of tourism businesses, Qualmark licence fees will need to be hiked. The blogger says such a fee increase could be a difficult sell.
 
The question is also raised as to whether the Automobile Association is reviewing its involvement.

Surprisingly, we have yet to be contacted and offered the vacant CEO position...

Ugly New Zealand

Invercargill's urban sheik

From the pages of the Dominion Post today we learn that not all academics are precious, boring swots. A lecturer at Otago University's Design Studies Department, Ralf Hebecker has been discovered possessing a dark sense of humour and a natural talent for taking the p*ss.

Ralf's blog, Ugly New Zealand takes an alternative look at New Zealand landscapes:

"… the blog with New Zealand photos that everybody else would delete immediately. Our mission is to collect the ugliest, most boring, most appalling and plainly dull landscape photography possible. A few urban shots will also be in the mix. Everything goes, as long as it is really, really, really ugly. Please feel heartily invited to write me a mail if you think you have photos that qualify. Ralf Hebecker ralf.hebecker@design.otago.ac.nz, lecturer at Design Studies, Otago University."

The blog is a celebration of the mundane and quirkiness of Kiwi landscapes and culture. Some of the depicted scenes aren't necessarily "ugly". In a round-about sort of way the blog promotes our uniqueness and makes the viewer appreciate the stunning, abundant urban and natural landscapes not featured on the blog that we take for granted.

The focus of the blog have been mostly restricted to the bleak urban landscapes of the lower South Island. Unfortunately with the vast amount of material still available in this region there is probably little chance of any movement north;-) 

For a bit of weekend indulgement, we suggest that you head over to Ugly New Zealand and check it out.  

Dunedin's roadside architecture

Earth Day

Apparently, yesterday was Earth Day.