Standing Up For The Car

As a recipient of travellers that mainly use a car to get to me, I've got a vested interest in car-culture and are prickly towards anyone that threatens the sanctity of the automobile as an object of desire and the principal mode of transport that should be revered and freely enjoyed.

Cars are a magical combination of ego, beauty, sex, form and function and there's been a couple of thing's that have been p*ssing me off by threatening the status of the car in our society.

Firstly there's Greg Murphy. The man when behind the wheel of a V8 Supercar is a feisty god-like figure, however his enviable hero-status is shattered when he starts shrilling the MTA's self-interest of trying to buck the government's proposal of extending the time between warrant of fitness checks.

The time and effort of attending a 6-monthly WOF check in a cold and drafty concrete structure situated in the middle of an industrial subdivision is an excruciating hassle. And besides, even the fuddy-duddies at the AA reckon the compulsion of 6-monthly visits should be relaxed.

The other issue that is causing me angst are those wowsers that are shrieking opposition about the government's long delayed decision to close  mothball the Napier/Gisborne railway line. This quaint, outdated mode of transport that started bleeding money soon after its inception should have been put to bed many years ago.

It is idiocy to maintain an expensive and inefficient rail route that goes through more tunnels and bridges than any other, to irregularly service a few customers on-demand while alongside is a "highway" that has one of the lowest traffic counts in the country.

And finally there's the release of the Holden Volt in New Zealand. This is the car that even threatens the Toyota Prius as the most nauseatingly gayiest car...ever.

This is the car that has neutralised any sex and passion that still remains in the car industry.

The car picked as a winner by Obama that nobody wants. Demand has been so underwhelming that GM (Government Motors) have recently stopped its production - for the second time.

The car that needs tax payer rebate just to move it off the caryard, so that high income prima-donnas can show the world how they are buying American while saving the planet.

The car that moochers rely on others to subsidise and expect even more privilege such as express lane passes, government assistance to rewire their houses in some circumstances and rebates from electricity companies.

I'm almost looking forward to analysing the type of person that is stupid enough to turn up at my place behind the wheel of this NZD$85,000 car that simply doesn't add up.