Sunday, July 25, 2010

If New Zealand was a motel?

The Homepaddock blog have alerted us to Jim Hopkins's column in today's New Zealand Herald that poses the question: "If New Zealand was a motel?" 

Our first thought that it would be pretty cool if New Zealand was a motel. We could offer a secure safe haven for the world to enjoy, all guests would be welcome and they could park right outside their room. At the end of each successful day we could celebrate by switching-on a red neon "No Vacancy" sign for all to see.

Jim Hopkins seems to have other ideas and we reckon he's done a better job that our initial Pollyanna vision:
"If New Zealand was a motel, there'd be a great big "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door - to keep the world at bay. It would hang on the handle all day, every day, telling rowdy yobbos like change and decline to keep the noise down because we're trying to sleep and would be very grateful if they'd refrain from raucous clamour.
If New Zealand was a motel, every unpleasantness would be banished, no hard choices would be made and all the ticking time bombs would sound so faint that the sleepwalkers of Godzone would never be rudely awakened from their complacent slumber.
If New Zealand was a motel, there'd be no need to consult the menu in the restaurant. We would always know what we were going to have.

"Are you ready to order?" the waiter would ask, his disagreeably foreign accent suggesting he wasn't really here to serve but for some more sinister purpose, like buying a farm.

If New Zealand was a motel, our response would be brusque.

"Yes," we would reply, "we'll have what we had yesterday. Nothing different, thank you, no unpleasant surprises. We like what we had yesterday. We want every day to be yesterday. More of the same, please."
"Would you care to try a little Schedule 4 land with that?" the waiter might inquire.

"0.2 per cent, perhaps?"

"Did we have any yesterday?" we'd reply. And the waiter would shake his head..."
Article continues: Click HERE

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